Lately I have felt him stirring up something within me...these embers that have been smoldering but not doing much else. I know he wants to light this fire and use my life for his glory, but it seems that instead of stoking the embers into flame I have been content to just watch them glow dimly. There is something beautiful about the embers though, isn't there? It is like this potential...it could be a big, roaring, warm and toasty fire, if we just gave it a little prodding and a little fuel.
I am ready for that moment. My heart is pounding in my chest ready for more. More Jesus, more love, more passion, more depth and fire and life. When did I start living this life as if it was the thing? When did I forget that HE IS THE THING?! There is nothing else. It all pales in comparison to him and every last thing in this world we hold onto is like dust compared to the surpassing glory of knowing and living for the one who created all of it.
There is so much beauty and wonder in the world...I love admiring it. I love warm fall days and the first snowfall and spring flowers and summer break. I love a full moon and crisp leaves and sun-kissed cheeks. I even love hot showers, funny movies, and steaming cups of coffee. And all of this is okay--even good because he created beauty and warmth and tastebuds and laughter. But when did all the gifts replace the place in my heart that was meant for the Giver? When did I become content with the stuff when I've known that all of it is meant to bring me back to the Creator of it all? Adoration, worship, surrender...these should be my response to him--and not out of obligation, but out of an overflow of thankfulness and worship because HE IS GOOD.
God, forgive me for all the ways I have failed to live my life as a passionate dance for you. I love the gifts you have given me--my family and friends and community are dear to me. My home is cozy and wonderful. My life is full of your blessings. But God...I give all these things back to you. I know that likely, you will not keep them. Likely, you will return many them to me but I will no longer see them the same. I confess that I have so many gifts that I have begun to take them for granted. I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to live open-handed to you with my whole life. All of it, holding nothing back. So God, stoke the fire in my soul. Prod the embers and add the kindling that what has been smoldering quietly will burst forth as a phoenix from the flame. This is my prayer and my passion.
May it be so~
