Learning A Forever Kind of Love

I remember the first post-marriage fight Hubs and I had. "What happened to smiles and butterflies?" I wondered, "Who the heck is this man I married? Is there an "out" clause?". (Okay, maybe I didn't really wonder if there was an "out" clause, but I was highly concerned with what I had gotten myself into.) Welcome to real life sister!

Let me start by saying that the hubs and I have what I would call a pretty strong marriage. We are both faithful and committed, and even when we don't want to (read: even when I don't want to) we hash things out and get down-and-dirty working through whatever needs to be worked through. For the most part, we make each other better versions of ourselves. That does not mean, however, that life is always rainbows and sunshine. In fact, as I am typing this, I am pondering the truth that you can't get rainbows unless you have a little rain in the mix if you know what I'm saying!

To be honest, I can't really recall what that first post-marriage fight was all about. All I know is that after what seemed like days of us not seeing eye-to-eye on something, I felt like I was at my wits end. I was hurt, mad, and did not want to be married to this guy anymore! But alas, we are the for-better-or-worse kind of team and I realized we were either going to work through this or die trying! (At that moment my stubborn, hurting heart did not want to try and I thought I might just wait him out in anger for fifty years...but that didn't seem like it would work out too well for me long-term.) So there I sat, in my car in the Safeway parking lot, crying in anger and self-pity. Anybody been there?

Even though I knew that whatever it was we were fighting about was absolutely 100% his fault and I was completely faultless in every way I decided maybe it would be a good idea to pray. "Lord," I said, "I don't want to do this! Show him he's wrong and he's mean! I don't like him right now and I don't know how you can expect me to do this!" At that moment a song came on the radio. Apparently God thought it might be a good time to remind me of my vows because it was the song. It was our wedding song...the one that was played during our wedding as we washed one another's feet as a symbol of our desire to submit to one another and to Christ.

In that moment I was reminded of the big picture. Forgiveness and acceptance. Hope and healing. Trust and a letting go of my need to be "right". If marriage is a picture of Christ's love for us (and it is) than in that moment I saw the depth and richness of the forever kind of love that worked through the nitty-gritty and kept going. The kind of love Christ has for His bride (us) and the kind of love I wanted to work towards in my marriage.

Since that moment there have been seasons of sunshine and seasons of rain. There have been moments when I have had to hit my knees to the floor and ask God to take over, because I wasn't sure how to work through this one. But we have a God who is there in the sunshine and the rain. We have a God whose love is never-failing even when ours is a faltering, wavering mess. He is a God of redemption and as our True Husband (since we are his bride) he gives us a picture of the kind of love we can have, through him, in our marriage. Now that is something worth celebrating!

Today I am linking up with Simple Moments Stick!