A Tired Mama's Search for Rest

I sit, eyes bleary and heart heavy as I nurse my sweet little boy. For a moment it is quiet, and my body and heart both need that moment desperately. It is only noon and it has already been a long day. I long for the sound of my husband's truck ready to rescue me, but we are not even close to that time. I ponder upon God's words written in Matthew, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Ah, rest. Even in the midst of days filled with crying and whining and an apparently infinite pile of needs that never quite seem to stop...I can have a heart that finds rest. The word is like honey on my tongue in those moments that the demands of motherhood feel most overwhelming.

God has given me high-maintenance babes who cry easily and often and need snuggles just about every second of their waking (and in my little guy's case, sleeping) hours.  I am quite sure this is all in answer to my own mother's prayers that I would have kids like me...payback! Through them I experience the beauty and burden of learning to love beyond myself and my own capabilities. There is no way by my own strength I could soothe an inconsolable baby for what seems like hours on end, while at the same time playing tea party with my toddler and giving her the love and attention she needs. And to do this with a joy-filled heart and words of gentleness and love while having far less sleep than this body prefers? Ha! No. Way.

But God, who purposely designed my beautiful, vibrant, high-intensity, deeply passionate children, knew that they would need more than I could give. And in my weakness He provides abundantly. It is an amazing thing, when I think about it, that every time I love on my babes it is not just my love they are receiving. They are getting a trickle of my love and an ocean of His. This brings peace to my troubled soul when I wonder how I can possibly have enough to meet all their needs. I don't. And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, God does. And He is more than capable.

Thank you God that when I have nothing left to give, I find you. On the darkest days and in the hardest moments may my heart find rest in you. 

You can find this, and other great posts linked up with Time Warp Wife, Mom's Morning Coffee, & We Are That Family this week!