Dear PMS, I hate you. The end.

When you cry over the Foreward in a book you are about to start and leave it tear-stained and smudgy in less than a five-minute span, and when all of a sudden you feel like you have no friends anywhere in the world and never have (because they have all been pretending all these years), and when you feel like both of your kids hate you and your husband is at work on purpose because it is more exciting than you are, and when you crave the four-dozen chocolate chip cookies you are making for the community center in town and contemplate only sending three dozen (but overcome that temptation...minus one cookie), and when you walk the grocery store aisles teary-eyed because you are overwhelmed by meal-planning, budget-planning, and life in general, and when you are ready to either throw a frying pan on the next person to come into contact with you or attack them with tears...you might (just might) be PMSing.

Why, God, why did you invent this dreadful thing? I mean isn't life hard enough without adding an extra several doses of crazy into the mix every month or so? Now, I'm not a big over-sharer but I figured I already crossed that line when I even started this topic and besides, I'm PMSing so I don't really care and you, my friend, can just deal with it (and maybe pray for my poor husband because this is the mess he gets to come home to today...yippy skippy!) ;) So, it has been a while since I've been hit by this dreadful PMS thing and I can tell you with full assurance that I did not miss it. Nope. I understand now why the Duggars have so many kids...it is because she figured if she just kept popping out babies she wouldn't have to deal with PMS. BRILLIANT PLAN MRS. DUGGAR! Sign me up (as the husband gasps, hoping I am not serious). Give me pregnancy hormones and lack of sleep any day...I can handle those! In comparison to the evil villain PMS, those are a cake walk!

Okay...not really sure this is a point to this post because PMS. But here is the deal. The one (and I do
mean ONE) good thing about PMS is that it reminds me how much I need God's grace. There are days when I feel like I'm doing pretty good and am relatively even-keel and I think less about the serious blessing of God's choice to cover over our sins with His grace. But then comes PMS and everything that exits my mouth is mean or unnecessary and I just cannot seem to reign it in and keep that thing shut. Then grace enters in and I cannot even fathom how patient and kind His love is because I am a hot mess and am not worthy of the gift. There are days that I cannot pretend like I have it all together because I just don't. Those days are the best days for falling to my knees in awe of my Jesus who hung on the cross for me. Those days I can truly say that I am flat-out dumbfounded by my Savior and His choice to cover over all my shortcomings with His blood. There is freedom in that, my friend. Even in the midst of a bad attitude and an uncontrollable tongue...grace flows freely. It isn't stopped up by my dam of pride and anger...if I let it, it breaks that dam right down with it's flood of mercy and grace. So, in that regard, thank you PMS for teaching me the lesson that NOTHING can separate me from the love of God...not even you. Still though...don't feel like you have to come visit again too soon. ;)

Love,