On Hide & Seek and The Glory of God

My mission this week has been to purpose myself to be grateful in ALL things. I realized last week that I was missing all of the gems God had placed in my life because my focus was on the difficult things. My spirit was one of whininess and self-pity, which not only made me an absolute delight to be around (note sarcasm), but also kept me flat blinded to all the good He had placed before me. So through the urging of and partnering with a dear friend, I committed alongside her to choose to find something to be grateful about in each circumstance of life this week. It has been a game-changer. My heart towards my kids has been so much softer, I have been gracing my husband with more genuine smiles, and even in the moments that have held hurt or pain I have been able to find something to be thankful for. I'm seeing so many things to be thankful for, the things that were there all along but I wasn't looking for them. Perhaps because I'm looking hard, I'm seeing--really SEEING--all the lovely and quiet ways God is weaving himself into my days.

There's a verse in the Bible that is one I once loved but I had forgotten, and it came to mind this week in my purposing a thankful heart.

"It is the glory of God to conceal himself, and the glory of kings to seek him out." ~Proverbs 25:2

I so love how God chooses to hide himself in the midst of our story, showing his glory by intentionally placing easter eggs of his very self throughout our days...and beckoning us to search for them. Hide and seek is a favorite game in our house...and of course the glory of the "hiders" is to find the best possible spot so the seeker has to work hard to find you. The glory of the seeker, though, is in their tenacity to keep searching and leaving no rock (or bedsheet) unturned until they find the one they are looking for. How lovely that our God has hidden himself in our homes and workspace and amongst the aisles of the markets we shop and along the roads we drive. Are we looking? Do we have eyes to see him...or are we so caught up in bitterness or frustration or disappointment that we miss him completely? I have missed him too many times, and my own heart (along with the hearts of those around me) has suffered for it. In purposing to seek out thankfulness I am purposing to live in the glory God has intended for me...that of a seeker of Him. Like a child on the hide-and-seek hunt, may I be innocent in heart of matters regarding bitterness and discontent. Instead, may I close my eyes, count to 10, and yell out as loud as I can, "READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!" And perhaps with a smile and a twinkle in his eye, my God quietly responds, "Good child, I am waiting for you to come find me."

Humbled in Love,

Embers of the Divine

Sometimes you can almost taste God. You are going about your business and then somebody near you dives into this delectable juicy steak (or whatever your meal of choice) and your mouth starts to water. You smell it, you see it, and it is almost like you can taste that steak and it just makes you long for a bite. Oh may he bring us to a place of longing for more of him.

Lately I have felt him stirring up something within me...these embers that have been smoldering but not doing much else. I know he wants to light this fire and use my life for his glory, but it seems that instead of stoking the embers into flame I have been content to just watch them glow dimly. There is something beautiful about the embers though, isn't there? It is like this potential...it could be a big, roaring, warm and toasty fire, if we just gave it a little prodding and a little fuel.

I am ready for that moment. My heart is pounding in my chest ready for more. More Jesus, more love, more passion, more depth and fire and life. When did I start living this life as if it was the thing? When did I forget that HE IS THE THING?! There is nothing else. It all pales in comparison to him and every last thing in this world we hold onto is like dust compared to the surpassing glory of knowing and living for the one who created all of it.

There is so much beauty and wonder in the world...I love admiring it. I love warm fall days and the first snowfall and spring flowers and summer break. I love a full moon and crisp leaves and sun-kissed cheeks. I even love hot showers, funny movies, and steaming cups of coffee. And all of this is okay--even good because he created beauty and warmth and tastebuds and laughter. But when did all the gifts replace the place in my heart that was meant for the Giver? When did I become content with the stuff when I've known that all of it is meant to bring me back to the Creator of it all? Adoration, worship, surrender...these should be my response to him--and not out of obligation, but out of an overflow of thankfulness and worship because HE IS GOOD.

God, forgive me for all the ways I have failed to live my life as a passionate dance for you. I love the gifts you have given me--my family and friends and community are dear to me. My home is cozy and wonderful. My life is full of your blessings. But God...I give all these things back to you. I know that likely, you will not keep them. Likely, you will return many them to me but I will no longer see them the same. I confess that I have so many gifts that I have begun to take them for granted. I don't want to live that way anymore. I want to live open-handed to you with my whole life. All of it, holding nothing back. So God, stoke the fire in my soul. Prod the embers and add the kindling that what has been smoldering quietly will burst forth as a phoenix from the flame. This is my prayer and my passion.

May it be so~

Some Weekly Dinner Inspiration

Some days I just need somebody else to decide what is for dinner. I have been feeling that lately and after having almost two weeks of a meal train from generous friends and family after having a baby, I got a little spoiled and now it's like I've forgotten how to cook or decide what to eat! So here is a meal plan I made for my own sanity and I thought I would share it in case you have dinner-making block like I do! ;) You are welcome!

Monday- This wonderful Loaded Baked-Potato Soup from The Wicked Noodle. So good, my friends. Add in a loaf of toasty garlic bread and your taste-buds will sing.

Tuesday- Pizza. I cheated here, because I did plan on making dinner Tuesday but Papa Murphy's has a deal where you can get any pizza your heart desires for $10 on Tuesdays and I did not want to tote three children to the grocery store yesterday so The Murph won out. And when pizza is dinner, really everybody wins! 

Wednesday-These Baked Chicken Legs from Bless This Mess, Broccoli, Rice

Thursday- This fantastic and easy Cheesy Bacon Chicken from Joy-Filled Eats and a hearty salad. (One of my favorite meals, and seriously one of the easiest I make too. Win!)

Friday- Taco Soup w/ Chips. (I'll try and share this recipe soon!)

Saturday- Steak Salad and Bread

Sunday- Pulled Pork Sandwiches, Chips, & Fruit

Well, hope some of this inspires you and perhaps next time I'll have pictures to go with my dinner inspiration (but if I try that today I will never get this post up). ;) Happy Wednesday to you all and have a joy-filled rest of your week!

~Blessings to you my friends!

Happy September (aka the unofficial first day of fall and here's why) ;)

September is here people...it is FINALLY HERE!!! September, for me, is like the start of something brand new and very exciting. For starters, I am a fall lover, people. Like, I start dreaming about fall in early August and by the time school rolls around I am all-in ready! So September 1st is like, fall kickoff celebration for my heart (even though I am well aware that fall doesn't officially start for twenty-one more days) and today I celebrated with a pumpkin/hazelnut breve! Oh yes! And not a medium but the biggest one I could find! Delightful to my tongue and soul I tell you. Delightful!

My husband is well-aware of my obsession with pumpkin spice lattes (aka: The Drink That Represents All Things Autumn) and so he posted this hilarious picture to my Facebook page the other day. This basically sums up my whole life. ---->

I have another reason for considering September 1st the unofficial first day of fall and that is this: There is simply not enough time in autumn to do all the autumny things I want to do! Football games, marshmallow-roasts, apple-picking (and applesauce-making...mmm!), nature walks, pumpkin-patch visits, gathering with friends and family for still-warm-but-not-hot evenings outside, jumping in leaf-piles, getting family pictures done, observing the stars, making a scarecrow (on my bucket-list for three years running and I have yet to do this one!), baking a cobbler (or pie...but I have my heart set on a peach-cobbler this year), reading a good book (When is it not a good season to do this, I mean really? My pick this fall is Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman), having a soup-salad-and-bread night with friends, focusing on thankfulness, and the list could go on! Not to mention the fun, feasting, and family of Halloween and Thanksgiving! Oh fall, you have so much to celebrate!

This year is especially great because my oldest two are finally able to get into celebrating with me. Last year my two-year-old had a blast but my one-year-old didn't really care. This year at two and three they will likely have as much fun as I do with all the festivities. Hooray! And so far my newborn is a champ at going-along-for-the-ride and I am less sleep-deprived than I was with my first two so I count that as another spectacular win! I could go on, but naptime is almost over and I am feeling a little crafty so I'm going to attempt a project in the next fifteen minutes. Wish me luck and happy unofficial first day of fall to you and yours! ;)

Blessings to you and a whole lotta love!

New Beginnings

As I sit here in a moment of quiet and type this with only one hand (my 7th-grade typing teacher would be appalled) my other arm envelops my newest wonder...a sweet 8-pound-4-ounce girl and a delight to my heart. Perhaps I'm just a slow learner but even the third time around I am amazed at how much love our hearts are truly capable of. We can be a selfish, arrogant lot and yet when it comes down to it our hearts were designed by Love Himself...and it seems He has created them with hidden spaces to be found and filled as He brings gifts (like my precious children) into our lives.

Perhaps in a future post I will share more detail, but the last few weeks of my pregnancy I struggled

Tired Baby, Tired Daddy

with doubt and anger and frustration at all the unknowns around labor and delivery and what our family would look like with our new addition. I was anxious and moody and worried and then...she was born. And as they placed her warm, squirmy body on my chest I was reminded of how big God is and how often my perspective is so small. Over the course of 9-and-a-half months God created this amazing human being right inside of my own body...and once she was done being formed and grown in my womb she was released into the world.

It reminds me of some impressionist art I saw at a gallery a long time ago. When you stood close-up the colors were beautiful but you couldn't always tell what they were supposed to be--they looked almost blurry. When you stepped back, however, it was clear that each stroke of the brush and choice of pallet was intentional and, when seen as a whole, created a breathtaking masterpiece.

How like life. Just like Jesus' friend Martha, who got caught up in her to-do list and wasn't able to see the beauty right under her nose, we get anxious and worried about many things...and we often miss the big picture. May we learn (and re-learn) to trust in the goodness of God, no matter our circumstances. And may we purpose to seek out the joy and love that is hidden deep within our hearts, waiting to be found.


 From my heart to yours~

Fear(Less)

I should be cleaning and organizing because I have a million things to do before my precious third-born makes her debut. I have baby clothes strewn throughout the house and the nursery looks more like an oversize closet than a safe haven but I take comfort in the fact that she won't care about anything except boobs, a clean butt, and comforting arms for quite some time. Though there's a long list of things I should be doing,  I had to stop for a minute and write this post because it has been on my mind all day and I feel like if I don't get it out I might just burst! (Or maybe that's just the baby...who knows really). ;)

Friends, our world is a hot mess. Likely it's no less messy than it has been for thousands of years but since there are so many things that hit close to home (literally and figuratively) these days it feels messier, if you get what I'm saying? It feels rocky and unstable and though I'm not prone to a doom-and-gloom kind of outlook on life there are days when I look around and wonder what all this crazy is leading up to. And yet in the midst of all the chaos and hatred and the unknowns, I hear God's reminder that He is in control. Now I'm not one to propose that God is orchestrating the chaos, but rather that in the midst of our own choices to seek vengeance and hatred and one-upsmanship He resides. For me there is such hope in that. There is hope in the fact that though chaos reigns in our world it does not have to reign in our hearts. Fear is knocking at the door of our homes, but it can't get through our door unless we invite it in. I desire to raise children who live out love in a world full of hatred, but they won't learn how to do that if I live a life closed off to the outside and cloaked in fear. It can be a daily battle and I'm sure that as time goes by it will only be more so. Because of this, I know I need to purpose myself to live each day out of the depths of God's grace and love--knowing that if I'm not intentional about that, my mind and heart can be hijacked by all the what-if's.

How about this...what if instead of dwelling on all the things that could go wrong, we instead ask God what He wants us to do today--right now--to be His hands and feet in our world? What if instead of hiding or griping we moved into a position of believing He is capable of big things in our hearts and lives, as well as in the hearts and lives of our children, even in the midst of our chaotic world? How would that shake up our paradigm? How would that rock our worlds? I desire to raise bold children who will stand up for what is right and and kneel down to the One who is good. I don't want half-hearted children who cow to whatever somebody tells them they should think or do. I also don't want angry, hateful children who are looking for the worst in those around them. I want children who see hope and light even in the midst of darkness, and who grab a hold of whatever remnants of good they see and run with it.

I recently read the book Number the Stars by Lois Lowry and learned an amazing true story about the

bravery of the Danish people during the time of the Holocaust. In April of 1940 the Nazi armies invaded Denmark and Norway, and though both countries had declared neutrality in the war, they were no match for the Nazi's military might and had no choice but to surrender. For the next three years Denmark was occupied by the Nazis and lived under their authority. They did so peaceably for quite some time. Then, in October of 1943 the Nazis began arresting Danish Jews. The Danish government was informed by a German spy of a plan to arrest and relocate all the Jews in Denmark. Upon hearing this, the ordinary citizens of Denmark banded together to help nearly all the Jews in Denmark (numbering around 7,000) escape to the safe shores of unoccupied Sweden via fishing boats. The Danish people showed remarkable bravery and courage standing up for what was right in the midst of brutality and possible execution. They smuggled nearly 7,000 of their own countrymen onto boats in the cover of darkness over the next three weeks, and risked their lives (and in some cases gave up their lives) to do what they believed to be the right thing. The living out of their ideals did not end there. Of the approximate 7,000 Danish Jews, 481 did not make it to the safety of Sweden. They were among those who were found out and arrested or who were too old or sick to make the journey. These Jews were sent to a ghetto in Czechoslovakia and were tirelessly advocated for by their Danish countrymen, until their eventual release to the Swedish Red Cross in April of 1945. The Danes never forgot their brothers and they never gave up.

I realize this is a long story but honestly, every time I think of it, I get chills. Something in me rises up and makes me long to be a mama who raises kids like this. I want my kids to do the right thing even when it is scary and they don't know what it will cost them. I want my kids to lay down their lives for those whose voices have been stolen, and to advocate and protect the weak. I want to raise kids who live wholeheartedly for God through loving others and living with integrity and intentionality. May we, as parents, learn to live these things out ourselves first, and may we have the bravery to raise a generation of children who don't live lives of self-protection, but of selflessness, generosity, and love.

Blessings to you and yours~

Meditations on Squash Bugs and Parenting

You guys...there is an all out war going on in my backyard this summer between me and the squash bugs. They have banded together on a mission to try and kill my plants and I am not having it. I always thought I was a bit of a peace-loving hippy but these suckers have made me realize that I have some sadist in me as well. I'm not a big bug-killer usually. My rule is simple...if you are in my house I have the right to squash you, if you are in your house (outside) I will leave you alone (unless you are a yellow-jacket hive in my backyard, in which case all bets are off). I even get stressed watching my kids handle bugs because I don't want them to hurt the little guys! Anyways, all that has changed since Invasion of the Squash Bugs 2016.

Last year I didn't make too big a deal about them because they seemed harmless enough...until my beautiful pumpkin plant budding with the promise of autumn splendor withered into a sad clump of misery before fall had even officially hit. (Moment of silence). Not. This. Year. This year it is game on. You guys, I look like a crazy person out there every evening scouring the leaves for these suckers and gleefully throwing them into a bucket of water whenever I find one. It has almost become a sick game...the way some people like to squeeze acne (so gross) and I just can't stop. All I can say is, if I lose the war it won't be for lack of zeal or commitment because I am pretty sure I am currently in the running for Master Squash Bug Assassin this year. Seriously, I've probably killed close to 100 of those things by now.

On another note, Baby #3 is due in about five weeks and you'd think by this time around I'd be ready for it and feel like a pro but wow, I am freaking out you guys. I don't know if you ever feel like you have your stuff together again after having kids. At least I haven't so far. This time around my anxieties tend towards the logistics of it all. Not so much "How do I take care of this tiny thing?" or even "Will I ever sleep again?" but more "How will I be a good mama to the kids currently running around like banshees while I am sleep-deprived and trying to provide for a newborn?" "Will our kids ever work into being able to share a room and not stay up too late and get up too early?" and "How in the world am I going to homeschool my oldest for the first time while also appeasing an easily-bored two-year-old and an I'm-hungry-RIGHT-NOW-MOM newborn?

It feels crazy...heck, it is crazy. But it also feels right and good. Does that even make sense? And I know it will all work out, I know we'll find a new normal in our house and it will be a chaotic beautiful mess and I will be broken and blessed and pushed to the max. And maybe that's why I'm so intent on eradicating squash bugs from my yard right now. Not because it really makes much difference in the world but because it's something I can manage and there is a rationalized outcome. With kids, especially little ones, nothing seems rational or organized. And each time around I have to re-learn to be okay with that. To find the glory in the mundane and the messy. One thing I've learned in my few-years-that-seem-like-forever as a mama (you know what I'm talking about) is this: The more you submit to the beautiful mess, the more joy there is to be found. Pushing back and wishing for more order or time or sleep is fruitless in these early years and only creates discord and anger. Accepting the grace of this slower, more mundane season of parenting allows for beauty to blossom in unexpected places. May beauty blossom for us all in whatever season we are in, and may we give it the space it needs to wrap itself around our hearts and pull us into it's embrace.

Blessings to you my friend!

Can't Pour Out What Hasn't Been Poured In

So I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts this morning (At Home With Sally) and Sally asked an intriguing question that has stuck with me all day. She asked, "Are you a person of resource?" What she meant in the context of the discussion was, are you a person who, when people come to you with needs of a kind word or encouraging thought or perhaps a word of wisdom, are able to provide that? I want to be that kind of person, friends. But as I've been pondering this statement I have also been weighing out my own heart and realizing that in order to be that kind of person I have to have my life spotlighted on the One who is wise and discerning and kind. I can't pour out what hasn't been poured in.

My husband has a bit of an obsession with iced tea in the summertime. As in, he will drink an entire pitcher before lunchtime and then wonder where it all went. Sometimes when I want to be kind and pour him a glass of tea, and there's nothing but the dregs left on the bottom, I will fill that cup as full-up of ice as I possibly can and then maybe add a little bit of water so that it will at least give the illusion that he has more than a few sips to swallow. But when the pitcher is empty it doesn't really matter how much I want to pour him a glass of refreshing iced tea. It is, at best, weak and unsatisfying because that is what happens when you let the pitcher run empty.

It's the same way with our souls. When we don't keep them filled they simply cannot provide the life and thirst-quenching hope that we desire to offer up to others. It has been a bit of a season like that for me the past several months. In a slow progression away from the things that really matter--the things that fill me up and keep me satisfied--I have become dissatisfied with life, and in turn, have only theoretical backwash to offer up to others. (Apologies for the gross analogy...I have a toddler and a preschooler so backwash, boogers, and poop are part of our daily discussions!) ;) But seriously, why would I ever want to have only that to offer up to others? My longing is to be a place and a person who refreshes weary souls, not somebody who sucks life out of those around me!

So what do we do when we find ourselves in this place of emptiness and lack? Three things come to mind for myself, and they have been objects of my pursuit as I seek to be filled up once again. First, though it goes without saying, we must purpose to drink of the Living Water. Jesus is the only one who can bring the dead to life again and coincidentally he is also the one who turned plain ol' water into the best-tasting wine anybody had ever had. So I'd say it's a safe bet he is the best place to start when we are needing a little kick to our dry bones as well. Second, we must make time for the things that bring us life. We were made to be creators and innovators and I find that it is often when we become stagnate in our pursuits towards creativity and innovation that we become dry. Perhaps reading, writing, beautifying your home, or bringing a garden to life are passions of yours. Maybe travel or photography or becoming the best you can at some new endeavor is what sparks life back into your soul. Whatever it looks like, seek out the beautiful and it will return beauty to your desert places. Lastly, we must make time for rest. Taking care of our bodies and souls is not a selfish thing to do. When we eat good things, give our bodies the rest they need, and purpose to live active and productive lives we don't just feel better, we live better and more fully and we oftentimes unwittingly inspire others to do the same.

So for those of you out there who are dry and weary, take heart. It won't be like this forever and sometimes it is us choosing to put one foot in front of the other on the hard days that will help us work our way to the oasis that will quench our thirst and restore our lives. One prayer. One thankful thought. One act of kindness. One choice to be present in the lives of our loved ones even when we'd rather be checked-out. If you, like me, want to be a person of resource...one who others can depend on for a kind word or thoughtful insight...than let's purpose together to work on filling ourselves up so that we are ready to offer up refreshment when another weary traveler comes our way.

Blessings to you my friend!

Hello Again

I hop on here periodically and think, "Wow...it has been so many months since I have blogged and now I don't even know where to begin." And so I hop off again, maybe having written words that I will later delete and never post or maybe having just stared at the screen for a bit. Lately, however, there has been a stirring in me to get back into the blogging world and try to find my niche once again.

As I type this I am humming the chords to "Do Re Mi" from Sound of Music, which begins with the words, "Let's start at the very beginning. The very best place to start. When you read you begin with A, B, C. When you sing you begin with Do Re Mi." So here I am, starting at the beginning of a new chapter in Messy Faces, Happy Families where my desire is to bring life, authenticity, and hope to both you and I as I travel my trying-to-be-intentional-and-seeking-out-the-joy journey alongside you.

I take it personally sometimes when I hop on a blog I enjoy and see that nothing has been posted for weeks or months. I wonder, "What happened? Was there a family emergency? Was there a tragedy? What went wrong, I thought we were friends!?" (I know, I can be a tad dramatic). Anyway, nothing like that happened here. I dropped out of the blogging vortex back in November because life gets crazy around that time and I just wasn't enjoying writing anymore. Then I lost my drive and felt like I had nothing to say and time went on and there was nothing pressing to drag me back into this world.

Lately, however, I have needed some motivation to pour life and joy and memories into my own family and I have often found that some of my best ideas come when I am trying to come up with ideas for blogging. So I thought, "Aha! Maybe dipping my toes back into the world of words will help me to be more intentional about being joyful and present with my own family!" So here goes the venture. ;)

Over the next few weeks I plan to share some of our summer plans, the beginnings of my "so I guess I'm a homeschool mom now" journey, & some book reviews. None of this is really for your benefit, good reader, it is entirely selfishly motivated to help keep me accountable and give me a place to process my thoughts (as well as a good excuse to read too many books!) So I guess I should be thanking you for being my motivation and accountability! ;) Looking forward to being refreshed and starting anew, as well as reconnecting with some of you!

Blessings to you today~

Fierce Thankfulness

The world and all its expectations and demands swirls us up into the vortex and we get a little lost sometimes, don't we? We look for home through the haze and the craze of all of it but sometimes home is nowhere to be found. Foxes have holes and birds have nests but the Son of Man had nowhere to lay his head. Sometimes I feel the same, spiritually speaking. I have a pillow and blankets and I am even audaciously blessed with a roof and four walls and yet sometimes weariness drags me down and I feel like there is nowhere that speaks rest unto my soul.

I wonder if maybe I'm looking in the wrong places? I wonder if maybe I'm fighting the wrong battles? The Son of Man had nowhere to lay his weary head and yet he was filled with joy. He had no roof and no pillow and yet he gave and loved and spoke words that brought water to the thirsty.  I am burdened and weary and wonder where in the world my joy has run off to. I think, perhaps, the fight to have a clean house and obedient children and a little time to myself at the end of the day has run me dry. But how, when the Son of Man had next to nothing and next to no one and circumstances far more difficult than those I face on a daily basis, did he yet have joy?  

He had joy because he fought for it. He didn't meet all the expectations or deadlines, and he didn't focus on "finding himself" or "doing what made him happy", in fact he didn't seem to engage in any of the silly or serious endeavors we undertake to become more "whole".  I'm not really even bashing any of that because I do the same and it is a big part of our culture and society but when I look at the life of Jesus it seems that he found joy because he fought for it by living a fiercely thankful life. It is when I lose focus on what truly matters that my heart begins to go off-course and out-of-wack. It is when I begin to focus on what I don't have that my life seems to lose its color and purpose. Thankfulness doesn't come packaged in a pretty box with a bow on top, it has to be fought for. It is not easy to be thankful when things are broken and we are tired. It is not easy to be thankful when our spouse has wounded us deeply and all seems lost. It is not easy to be thankful when our children seem to be spiraling downward and all we can do is watch and pray and love. It is not easy to be thankful when the doctor calls and the news is grim and fear grips our hearts. In this world there will be trouble, says Jesus, and doesn't trouble just seem to come in all at once and destroy everything? But take heart, he continues, for I have overcome the world. We can be thankful for that--even in the midst of the vortex. We can choose thankfulness because thankfulness is the way back to joy. It is a language our heart can use to talk with God when our heart can't think of anything else to say. When we choose thankfulness we destroy hopelessness.

So maybe this season we make that our vow. God, I choose thankfulness to you today. In the midst of circumstances and emotions and all the stuff, thank you that you are God and I am yours. Amen. 

Blessings~

Some Days You Just. Can. Not. (And guess what, that's okay)

 That time when you just can't even handle one more minute with your precious little babes and you skip evening teeth brushing because you might call it quits on parenting if those sweet things try to defy you one more time today. Then you see the toy-strewn family room but would rather pick all the toys up yourself in QUIET then wait while your children dawdle over their pick-up routine (I KNOW, okay. Not a good habit. But let's be honest, some days...) And then, to top all the wonder of childhood off with a cherry you skip bedtime routine and cut it down to one (short) story because MAMA IS GOING TO LOSE HER EVER-LOVING ANY MINUTE NOW so goodnight sweet thing, Jesus loves you and so do I but right now I'm out! Peace and sweet dreams and a better tomorrow.

Anybody ever have a day like that? From the moment your eyes open to the last goodnight kiss and "I love you" is said you are just on edge and the dominos are crashing and you feel like Epic Fail Mom because you can't handle your life or your kids and what is wrong with you?! Take a breath, soul! As Annie says, "The sun will come out tomorrow." And even if it doesn't, God's mercies will come fresh-baked and ready for you to savor. We all have days (heck, sometimes even seasons) where we are not totally on our game. Sometimes we don't even know what "our game" looks like and life is just hard. Maybe it's a phase our kids are in or maybe it's a phase we ourselves are in--and we just can't be that mom we want to be. Do you know what? We can keep the fire while ditching the guilt. It's great to have desires to be a mom who loves her kids well and lives that out daily in whatever way God has crafted it to be in you. But do you know what else is okay? Failing at that sometimes. Today I spent too much time on Facebook, stuck the kids in front of the tv so that I could cope with life, and tried my hardest not to snap each sentence out in my harshest tone. I wasn't "fun-loving mom" or "sweet-snuggly mom" or "attentive and interested mom". I was "mom who did the bare minimum and tried to smile more than I frowned". It was not awesome. But it was all I could do today. And that is okay.

I love my kids more than life itself, and most days that shows. But some days we need to let Jesus make up for the lack both in us and in our kids. We need to be kind to ourselves the way we would to a good friend, and take a long hot shower in God's grace. It may not make the day go by any quicker, but I promise you it feels a whole lot better to have an "off" day in the freedom of knowing that God will take over than in the guilt-trip of feeling like you are failing.

So to all the moms out there who had (are having) a hard day, hang in there. Take a bite of God's fresh mercy and pour an extra cup of coffee to go with it. Take a short-cut. Pray. And let God do His thing today because he is really good at doing his thing on days like this. You can try again tomorrow.

This week I am linking up with Women with Intention, Morning Motivated Mom, and Pat & Candy!

Why I Don't Consider Being a Mom to be my Highest Calling

 Anybody who knows me knows that I love being a mom. Interacting with my young ones brings light to my eyes and laughter to my lips (most of the time, let's be real). I think often about how to help my kids thrive in this wacky world. I love pontificating our family's future and cooking up crazy ideas that we can do together. I love laughing at dinnertime and snuggling at night (I don't so much love waking up to their zealous joy for the day...give a girl her coffee before all that business starts, would ya?) I love the high honor of being called by God to speak life and truth and love into these baby hearts and helping them to grow. The task is crazy btw...who would pick an ordinary girl like me for such a grown-up task as this? Only God! He's crazy enough for the lot of us!

As a mama with littles, the main focus at this point in life is them. They're tiny ones still, with much dependence on yours truly to be their lunch-preparer, diaper-changer, boo-boo kisser, nap-enforcer, and primary playmate. The entirety of the day is filled with thoughts of them and attentions to their needs because that is the season of life we are in. Also, I want to be a mama who is present and so I strive to give them eye-contact and verbal interaction with regularity because I feel like those things are important for them both intellectually and emotionally (plus, let's be honest, this extrovert would go crazy if I didn't chat with them because PEOPLE--even little ones--are my favorite!)

The thing is, as much as I love being a mom and as much as I do feel with full intensity that if we are mamas it is part of the calling God has put on our life and we'd best be striving to do our very best to love those kids well because we have THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE to answer to and He is serious about making sure children are LOVED WELL and VALUED... (deep breath)...as much as all that is true, I don't think being a mom is my highest calling. And I have to tell you, I kind of wrestle with that. Because this mama bear would do anything for her cubs and there is nobody in this world I feel more responsible for than them. It is mighty hard to loosen that grip a little sometimes. Anybody else?

But the truth, when we get right down to the nitty-gritty, is that our allegiance first and foremost belongs to God. We can surely take the reigns on our own life and he's likely not going to shoot us down with a lightning bolt, but he doesn't really have to. We are fully capable of messing up the entirety of our lives--our marriages, our relationships with our children, and all the other most-important things all by ourselves, aren't we? And when we do, grace is waiting. This is true in parenting, surely, but it is true in the wholeness of our lives. Raising up our cubs is a part of the bigger calling of being a follower of Jesus.

"What does all of this this mean for my little life?" I've been wondering. I don't fully know, but I think in part it means that when I'm mothering my kids and being intentional with them I am fulfilling what God has called me to. I don't think it means I need to change what I'm doing, as much as where I'm looking. Perhaps, more than anything, my "take away" (because apparently we're at youth group right now) is that I need to keep my eyes and heart wide open in all areas of my life. For the next several years my kids will be a primary focus for me. God has given them to me as a gift and I cherish them. I want to nurture them and enjoy them and teach them how to be good and strong and brave. I want to cheer them on and boost them up. But I don't want them to grow-up thinking they are all I have eyes for. I want them to see me have eyes for Jesus. I want them to see me look outside of myself and outside of themselves and on to the many ways God has called and created us each to breath him out.

When all is said and done, I think perhaps what I am learning is that I want to be God-focused no matter what my life looks like in its current state. In the kid-centric world I am in right now, through the rebellious and rocky teenage years, and into the empty nest I will one day likely find too quiet, HE is my rock. I hope that this is the legacy I pass on to my children. Through loving them and through loving Jesus.

This week I am linking up with Tuesday Talk, Women with Intention, A Little R&R, & Pat & Candy!

Listen to the Music

Sanity is highly overrated. When I dream about the kind of woman I want to become, it is not one who has all my t's crossed and my i's dotted. I want to be the kind of woman who dances to the music of life--even when nobody is watching. I came across a quote by Friedrich Nietzche that delights my soul. He said that "those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music." I want to hear the music, don't you!? I want to be the crazy one who is dancing in delight and joy, bringing life and color to those around me even when I look flat-out crazy. I want to be the one who helps those around me to hear the music too! Because it is there beloved, it is there.

I don't always hear the music, though. There are days when the only music resounding in my ears is that of whiny children and my own grumpy tones. May this be the exception, more and more, as I learn the art of listening to the music around me. There is a children's book we read frequently called Giraffe's Can't Dance (by Giles Andreae & Guy Parker-Reese). In the book a wise cricket speaks these words, "Everything makes music if you really want it to." We live in a God-breathed world and though it is full of brokenness, at it's root is unadulterated beauty and glorious music.

Can you hear it? The sweet lullaby of a baby coo and the sharp trill of a toddler scream...both representations of the vibrancy and life within our young ones. It is easy to hear the music in a child's laugh or a teenager's heartfelt moment of authenticity but what about in a door slamming or an angry "I hate you!"? It is much more difficult to find the music in these moments, but perhaps these moments are the pause before a crescendo of opportunity. Opportunity to express love and forgiveness and grace.

The glorious melodies of heaven and earth surround us, if we but listen. May we hear the music today. And may we dance!

Love You!

Solidarity Sisters

This past month, I tried something new in the blogging world. Well, new to me. I think it is pretty common for bloggers but it was my first experience. Anyway, I joined Susannah at Simple Moments Stick for Solidarity Sisters. What is Solidarity Sisters, you ask? It is kind of like pen-pals for the blogging world, but even cooler because you get to glean blogging wisdom from eachother (or in my case, glean wisdom from her, but really not have much blogging wisdom to offer in return. (Sorry Michelle!) ;) For a whole month you connect with your partnered blogger each week, sharing tips and tricks for a variety of blogging endeavors, as well as encouraging each other on your individual blogging journeys. It was wonderful to connect on a deeper level with a blogging friend, and it is something I would definitely do again (and you can to if you head over to Susannah's Solidarity Sister Registration Page (that's a mouthful)!

My FANTASTIC Solidarity Sister is Michelle who blogs at Grammie Time. She is wonderful, you guys. Simply wonderful. Seriously, you should stop reading this and go check out her blog RIGHT NOW! She is fun and encouraging, posts some delish family recipes, and I am always inspired by her reads! A few of my favorite posts by her are:

• Why We Said I Do (Celebrating 29 Years of Marriage)  
• 5 Things Every Grandchild Needs to Hear 
• Lose Self-Doubt and SPARKLE 
• Happiness Stamped 
• Life Verses for Prayer 

Honestly, there are just so many more I can't even tell you. I could pick a hundred more faves. AND she hosts a linkup on Tuesdays called Tuesday Talk which holds a menagerie of other great bloggers' posts, and is a great place to link-up your own gems! She is so sweet, and is going to be featuring one of my posts on Tuesday Talk tomorrow, so head over to her home page tomorrow and check it out!

Capturing Autumn's Glow

There are so many things to delight in during the autumn season, and so much to celebrate! The colors alone can be breathtaking with such vibrancy and beauty it almost makes you breathless. Then there's the food and the festivals and the clothing accessories! Love. I just love it all! Sooo I thought it might be fun to share some of the small and large ways that we can bring the glow of Autumn into our hearts and lives (and tummies!) this season.

ANYWAY, I've already shared my family's bucket list (which you can read here), but I thought it would be fun to get a little more specific about the small ways we can celebrate autumn each day. For my home, I want to bring a touch of autumn's glow into each day of the season. One of my goals as a mama is to create a sense of celebration in the hearts of my little ones. I want them to grow up knowing that there is always room for a thankful heart and a warm smile, and I want them to seek out opportunities to delight in life and this crazy story our Jesus has called us to be a part of. Sometimes this is shown in big ways and mountaintop experiences, but oftentimes I find that cultivating hearts of joy, thankfulness, and delight are done one simple day at a time as we live with intentionality. 

September

•  Apple Picking                     
•  Apple Art Projects
•  Apple Cider
•  Applesauce
•  Caramel Apples
•  Smores by the fire
•  Leaf collecting
•  Leaf project
•  Welcome fall banner
•  Last picnic of the year
•  Nature walk
• Decorate front porch

October

• Have a "Welcome Fall" party
• Leaf rubbing projects
• Make a scarecrow for your front yard
• Go to a football game 
• Make homemade soup
• Have a pumpkin pie latte 
• Visit pumpkin patch
• Call a friend or relative you haven't talked to in a while "just because"
• Buy or make fall-scented candles
• Make or find Holloween costumes
• Carve and/or paint pumpkins
• Trick or Treating (or Trunk-or-Treat if you'd rather!)

November

• Host a football party at your house
• Volunteer as a family
• Make a hearty Chili & Potatoes dinner 
• Do something nice for somebody just because 
• Take annual family pictures (who doesn't look good with a backdrop of  autumn leaves!?)
• Send out annual family cards for Thanksgiving instead of Christmas 
• Build a fort 
• Bake pumpkin bread
• Have a family board game night
• Make pumpkin bread 
• Family movie night (watch Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving or Free Birds)
• Create a thankfulness tree
• Thanksgiving 

This week I am linking up with Grammie Time, Women with Intention, Simple Moments Stick & Pat & Candy. 

What if we didn't live in fear? (A call to be the light)

Fear. It surrounds us cloaked in so many forms, and it is insipid. I am heart-broken over the responses of too many of my brothers and sisters around the world towards the atrocities happening both overseas and at home. Why am I seeing Christians responding in such hateful and unwelcoming ways towards those in need? Whatever happened to us laying our life down for another? Whatever happened to us giving the clothes off our back to one who has asked for only a coat? Is this truly what we have become?

Clenched, angry fists ready for battle are too often the mark of my fellow Jesus-followers. Judgement has become the hallmark of Christians in too many instances. What if, instead, we had hands open and ready to give and to serve? What if, instead, we had hearts overflowing with kindness and mercy? Haven't we read that mercy triumphs over judgment? (James 2:13)

But fear. Fear of "the other" and what they will do to our comfortable lives. Fear of how somebody elses' pain and loss might taint our own rose-colored sky if we let them in. Are we so desensitized and so comfortable that we would trade offering our abundance for the insipid whispers of "what if..." What if we don't have enough to give. What if wolves come mascarading as the innocent. What if our life has to change and our hearts have to break and all that is just too scary.

We like our comfort and our order, don't we? Friends, sometimes our lives have to get uncomfortable. Sometimes our hearts have to break. Sometimes we have to take small steps that seem insignificant and clumsy to get the the place where we can be the hands and feet of Jesus. Fear holds us back from experiencing and offering real love. Where there is fear, love cannot exist in its fullness. "Perfect love casts out fear." (1John 4:18) The closer we move to Love, the less hold fear has on us and on the decisions we make.

So let us seek love. Let us push back against the excuses we have to look away or disengage. Let us push back against our selfishness. If we want to look like Jesus (and I, for one, desperately want to look like Jesus) than we need to run after the things he ran after. He did not run after comfort or security, but instead he put himself in uncomfortable positions time and time again, for the sake of love. And it looked flat-out crazy. Even his disciples were, at times, baffled by the way Jesus lived his life.

I don't always know what to do when I see brokenness around me. But I do know that God is faithful and when we let our hearts be broken and ask God what to do, He will give us a direction to go. If your heart is broken for something today--pursue it. Fall to your knees and seek God's wisdom in it. Find something to do about it, even if it seems small. Look around and see what you have that can be leveraged for the betterment of somebody else. Money? Time? An extra room in your home? An extra chair at your table? An extra seat in your car? A skill to teach? A kind word to give? Let your heart continue to be broken, because the alternative is developing a heart of stone. We live in a world full of pain. We can't fix it all. But we can be a light. And we can do something. We weren't called to shake our heads and cluck our tongues or to hand out unsolicited advice. We were called to be love in a broken world. What does that look like in your world?

Let's choose to be a light to the hurting and broken today~

I am linking up with  Tuesday Talk, Women with Intention, & Coffee & Conversation.

Adventure Beckons (and we can find it here!)

I have always had a longing in my heart for adventure. Going new places, seeing new things, exploring unknown territories--even in my own backyard--has always heightened my senses and sped-up my adrenaline. It thrills me to think of doing and experiencing and relishing. My poor husband has been dragged along more than a few times on some weekend expedition that his wife cooked up to satiate that craving for adventure.

There are times, though, when I lose that part of myself for a while. Something happens that reminds me of the frailty of life or my own vulnerabilities and fears and I hole up my heart and life in a fortress of safe normalcy. The fortress can't hold for long, though, and eventually I am reawakened to the truth that I was made for more. With that comes a desire to experience more fully and live more fully--squeezing every drop out of this life before it fades away.

Is it realistic to think that my simple life can be anything great and adventuresome? There are times when I feel like the monotony of life stifles any longing for adventure I may have...every dream is cut short by reality squashing it down. Yet even as it is happening something in my spirit rises up and says, "No! I will not live a ho-hum life of mediocrity. And I don't have to!" Because I know but I know but I know that we were made for more than that. Even in the potentially monotonous days of our present reality, opportunity beckons.

In early motherhood there is a season of sleepless nights and diapers, diapers, diapers--it can feel endless. And pointless. Yet perhaps in the quiet nighttime nursing sessions there is opportunity.  The middle-of-the-night heavenly conversations with the One who created the stars and the sky and perfectly made that sweet, hungry baby who interrupts your sleep--those conversations can be life-changing. In the monotony and repetitions of baby-tending there is a sacred space for God to move close and sit with your tired self and commune through being with you. Let him.

As time goes by and baby turns toddler there is a new opportunity, one that continues to grow with your child. It is an opportunity to wonder and explore the world together...one baby-step at a time. Exploring the backyard may not seem thrilling to you, but if we can wear the eyes of a child we can see wonder in a rolly-polly or a pumpkin patch or a flower's first bud. It is in these small things, I am finding, that I can relearn how to savor God's creativity and His intricacy. He invented such a variety of flowers, and designed them to mix and invent even more. Each one unique and full of such variance of color and design! He wants to woo you with these simple beauties. Let him.

There are people off in exotic lands doing crazy-bold things for Jesus and I love to read their stories and live vicariously through them. There was a time when I thought that in order to live a crazy-bold life for Jesus you had to do it "out there" (and I still think that getting out of our bubble is an important part of being able to live out a God-sized life), but I no longer think that adventure for and with God has to happen "out there". There are a million adventures both big and small to have right in your own backyard. God wants to have those adventures with you. Let him.

So today, may we make it a point to get out of our comfort-zone and look for opportunity. Whether through a conversation with a stranger at the park, a smile and some change for somebody who is in need, or a warm and inviting meal full of conversation and love with your own family--may we live out adventure in the small things as well as the large. Our Creator wants to engage with us in everything from dish-washing to decision-making. May we let him.

Love you so much! 

Savor & Give Thanks

The warmth of summer is fading, but thankfully it is a slow fade. Summer clings on to its last few weeks as if it knows it is leaving, and it wants to leave a pleasant impression. The weather hovers in the eighties here, and it is absolutely perfect. Days like this make me want to soak it all in and hold on tight, because I know that in just a few short months we will be decked out in our layers and indulging in hot cocoa instead of lemonade. I love autumn, but for whatever reason this year summer is making it hard to let go.

Perhaps it is because I feel as if I am just getting into the rhythm of being lost in the moments, and I'm not ready for it to end. The laughter of children splashing in a creek and making friends with the ducks is magical. There isn't much that compares to the genuine shriek of delight from a young child. What I am finding in myself is a longing to be fully immersed in these moments. I want to breathe them in and let them fill me up with the magic and delight that my children seem to find so easily. I want to savor.

Each day holds so much to delight in, if we but see. When our hearts' default setting is thankfulness, the blessings that surround are absolutely overwhelming. It is when we get caught up in the schedules and the disappointments and all the things we don't have that our vision becomes dull and lifeless. I have this theory that the more we tune our hearts to thankfulness, the more we see our world with the eyes of Jesus. I want to see this world with my Savior's eyes, don't you? The colors are so much brighter when we live awake to the beauty and blessings around us.

When you eat too many carrots, your skin takes on an orangish hue. It's called carotenemia (I know it sounds like I just made that up. Google it, it's legit.) Anyway, it makes me smile when I think of this weird condition because I can't help but think that if I ever meet somebody with orange skin I will know that they have a major obsession with carrots (or pumpkin or whatever). They won't be able to hide their obsession. I want my gratitude and joy to show like that. I want to be colored with it...so that when people interact with me there is no question that I am filled-up with thanksgiving. I want there to be no question that I am filled-up with Jesus.

May we be a people who overflow with color and warmth and joy. May we be a people who are wholly swallowed up in the delight and kindness and mercy and love of our God. May we teach our hearts (and the hearts of our children) the language of gratitude, and practice it until it becomes a language we know so well we dream in it.

Blessings to you this day. May you delight in Him!

Words of Life: Psalm 33

 Shout for joy in the LORD, oh you righteous! 

Praise befits the upright.

Give thanks to the LORD with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!

Sing to him a new song; play skillfully on the strings, with loud shouts.

For the word of the LORD is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness. 

He loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the steadfast love of the LORD.

By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host.

He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap; he puts the deep in storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him! 

For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded and it stood firm.

The LORD brings the counsel of the nations to nothing; he frustrates the plans of the peoples.

The counsel of the LORD stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people whom he has chosen as his heritage!

The LORD looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth,

he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds. 

The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength. 

The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue.

Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, 

that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.

Our soul waits for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 

For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.

~Psalm 33

I just needed a reminder today of His goodness, His grace, His unbending love, and His trustworthiness. He is worthy of our all...and there is none else in whom we will find full comfort and full assurance of hope. When all is caving in around us and we are weak and tired, we wonder how we will get through. Grab onto the rock and cling tightly as waves crash around you. When we are in Him, we may be battered by the waves but we will not be broken. 

May you cling to the Rock today, whatever your storm may be

A is for Autumn (My favorite time of year!)

 Late summer and early fall is my favorite time of year. The anticipation of the "new year" rests upon teachers and students alike as they wonder what their class will be like and make all kinds of mental plans for what they hope their school year will entail. More than the actual New Year, I see this time as a time of setting goals and building bridges that will glide us through the next few months and into the Christmas crazy with joy and delight instead of dread and stress.

This time of year, more than any other, is one I have filled with family traditions and memory-making activities that I absolutely LOVE. As fun as the carefree days of summer are, there is something calming about getting back into a set routine (anybody?) and knowing more-or-less what each week will hold. We are adding a few items to our Autumn bucket list this year, and I cannot tell you how giddy I am as I look forward to this season of harvest, gathering, and of course, family.

I am excited to share more details later (since my husband tells me that I am CRAZY for getting so Autumn-exuberant when it is still 90-degrees outside and we are a whole month away from the official beginning of fall. Haha!) But I kind of consider the back-to-school time synonymous with the wrapping up of summer and ushering in of fall, and come September we are going to hit the ground running with doing some preschool at home and I have all kinds of ideas for how I want to incorporate the fall season into our learning adventures. SO, all that being said, if you need a little bit of inspiration for family traditions and connections this upcoming season in your home, grab an idea or two from my list and try it out. As I always jokingly tell my husband (usually with some goofy expression and weird accent), "The family that plays together stays together!"

Ideas for a Little Fall Fun

• Leaf collecting (and of course, fun leaf projects like leaf rubbings)
• Soup-making (it could be Hearty Beef Stew or Zuppa Toscana...but I LOVE soup in the fall!)
• Apple Picking (New tradition for the family this year...super excited about it!!!)
• Hot Air Balloon Watching (Our area has an annual Hot Air Balloon spectacle in September that is just magical!)
• Pumpkin-Patching (This is one of my FAVORITE traditions of the entire year)
• Story-timing (at the library)
• Cider (or Hot Cocoa) & Stories (Brew up a tantalizing pot of apple cider or hot cocoa and snuggle up in cozy forts or comfy couches to read stories with the kiddos).
• Firefighters Open House (Many Fire Stations have an annual Open House around this time for fire safety month, with firetruck rides and other fun events for the kids). 
• Pumpkin painting, pumpkin carving, and of course pumpkin seed cooking!
• Take annual family pictures (what better time of year to do this than fall with the great lighting and fantastic colorful leaves surrounding you!)
• Writing an annual Thanksgiving letter (as opposed to a Christmas letter...things are just too crazy for me to ever get those out on time, haha!)
• Take a fall hike (and maybe even hit the hot springs!)
• Go to a harvest festival (most towns have one somewhere...a school, a park, or a church in your area probably has some sort of harvest celebration!)
• Make s'mores (And this s'mores coffee creamer...trust me it is AMAZING!!!) 

 

So there you have it. A (somewhat) short list of some of the things I like best about fall. There are more to come, I assure you (because I am a bit of a planner and dreamer who derives as much joy from planning out the events as actually doing them. ;) Happy autumn everyone (err...in a month, so I guess happy early autumn). ;) What are your fall traditions?

Love you all!