Ready, set, JUMP!

Last night I went to bed feeling anxious. I have struggled with anxiety for most of my life and these days, more often than not, it doesn't rule over me. But there are times when it sneaks up and taps me on the shoulder...reminding me that it is still there. The "what ifs" loom in front of me menacingly, and I feel like life could come crashing down at any minute. I guess the truth is, it could, but is that how I want to live?

So this morning I was thinking of the scripture in Isaiah that says "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace" and even though this wasn't written to me specifically, something about it just calmed my soul. After googling where this verse could be found in the Bible, and seeing "Isaiah 55" pop up several times in response to my search,  I decided to read the whole of chapter 55 in Isaiah. This is what stuck out to me: "Hear me, that your soul may live." Now, I am sure there are many Bible scholars who could be all over my case for taking this out of context, but do you know what I thought when I read that? I want my soul to live! And I didn't mean live with Jesus (I mean, I do want that but I already have a relationship with him), but I want to live fully and vibrantly. I want to remember to let God take care of my anxieties so that I can spend my time actually living my life instead of thinking about every possible scenario that could go wrong in it.

Life is fragile, and I know there is only so much I can do about the outcome. Then I just have to trust God. (Its either that or go crazy and I haven't asked, but I think my husband would prefer a wife who trust God over one who is nuts.) And you know what? I would to. I can make myself sick or I can live with joy.

I see a difference in my daughter, even at this tiny age, when I am living with anxiety verses living with trust. I don't want to teach her to live fearfully. I want to teach her to spread her arms out and jump into her Father's arms. I want her to live life with passion, adventure, and faith. And even though the thought of me jumping with abandon into awaiting arms seems like a stretch, I think I need to spread my arms out and just go...because God's arms are big enough to catch even me. So here I go, "Ready. Set. JUMP!"