Tuesday, September 30, 2014

A Tired Mama's Search for Rest

I sit, eyes bleary and heart heavy as I nurse my sweet little boy. For a moment it is quiet, and my body and heart both need that moment desperately. It is only noon and it has already been a long day. I long for the sound of my husband's truck ready to rescue me, but we are not even close to that time. I ponder upon God's words written in Matthew, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest." Ah, rest. Even in the midst of days filled with crying and whining and an apparently infinite pile of needs that never quite seem to stop...I can have a heart that finds rest. The word is like honey on my tongue in those moments that the demands of motherhood feel most overwhelming.

God has given me high-maintenance babes who cry easily and often and need snuggles just about every second of their waking (and in my little guy's case, sleeping) hours.  I am quite sure this is all in answer to my own mother's prayers that I would have kids like me...payback! Through them I experience the beauty and burden of learning to love beyond myself and my own capabilities. There is no way by my own strength I could soothe an inconsolable baby for what seems like hours on end, while at the same time playing tea party with my toddler and giving her the love and attention she needs. And to do this with a joy-filled heart and words of gentleness and love while having far less sleep than this body prefers? Ha! No. Way.

But God, who purposely designed my beautiful, vibrant, high-intensity, deeply passionate children, knew that they would need more than I could give. And in my weakness He provides abundantly. It is an amazing thing, when I think about it, that every time I love on my babes it is not just my love they are receiving. They are getting a trickle of my love and an ocean of His. This brings peace to my troubled soul when I wonder how I can possibly have enough to meet all their needs. I don't. And that's okay. Because at the end of the day, God does. And He is more than capable.

Thank you God that when I have nothing left to give, I find you. On the darkest days and in the hardest moments may my heart find rest in you. 

You can find this, and other great posts linked up with Time Warp WifeMom's Morning Coffee, & We Are That Family this week!


  1. I'm definitely going to have to come back to this post (or call you!) in a few months when I'm at my whits end of tiredness with Caleb!

  2. Tired Mama, I hear you, being one myself!! Thank you for your encouragement. God does equip up for our children, praise Him! Some days I question whether I can do this another day because it's so very hard at times! I have a very smart little firecracker of a daughter who can be extremely difficult at 3. She keeps me on my knees as I'm learning how to parent with patience and Godly wisdom. My two are very close together and most days still feel like a whirlwind till my husband comes home. Just his being here can ease my mind. :) I'll pray for you as you're in the trenches with two tinies. God is with us both!

  3. Summer, God gave you those precious babes because He knew you were perfectly made to imprint on their little hearts in these early formative years that will nurture and prepare them for purpose He has designed them for in this world. I was also thinking today of Matthew where Jesus talks about not doing our good works before others. I think that a mother's love can often go unnoticed and yet every little moment we choose to lay down our lives for them is seen by our great God. I am so blessed, even miles away, to think of you and know that you are being faithful to His call. I love you!!!!

  4. Oh I have been there. Actually, my son just turned 2 and is still super high maintenance with lots of nursing! Hugs!!


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