Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I Didn't Always Want to be a Mother

I have a confession to make... I didn't always want to be a mother. Some girls dream of fairytale things--white weddings, picket fences, and a houseful of babies. I was not one of those girls. Oh sure, I played house and pretended I was Barbie married to Ken and thought about cute boys at school. I loved the thrill of a new crush and the butterflies that came with wondering if "that boy" would smile at me today...but I didn't really think long-term about marriage and babies. I wanted adventure. I didn't want to be tied down to a ho-hum life. As I got older, I felt like marriage and kids would be a hindrance to doing something "worthy" of God's kingdom...and to be honest, I still wanted excitement. Most of the families I saw were pretty ordinary. I didn't want to be stuck in ordinary. Not for me. No thank you.

Somewhere along the line though, things changed. Primarily, my heart changed. I had wanted, as many do, to be great and do great things. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but my prideful youth didn't see the intricacies or depth of importance in marriage and motherhood. I couldn't have known how much I had to learn about selflessness and sacrifice; and I had no concept of the ways God uses mothers to shape the world through the raising of their families. I still strongly believe you can do great things if you choose to never marry or have kids. But now I also know that incredibly great things are done through the hard work of maintaining a strong marriage and nurturing the little ones God entrusts to you.

As far as greatness goes? I have to say, my days look pretty ordinary. I don't live in a hut in an unpronounceable village and I do not have thousands coming to me for healing and prayer. Likely, when my time comes to leave this world there will be no monuments, biographies, or large gatherings. But I am changing the world in extraordinary ways. Each time we choose to listen to our little ones, to show compassion and empathy, to extend grace and keep a fountain of love running for them, each time we chose to do the thing that may be difficult in the moment--whether it's discipline, drying tears, or reading the same story for the fifteenth time in a row--we are shaping their lives, and changing the world.

So mama, maybe your days feel ordinary. Maybe you wonder where the excitement went and what on earth you are going to do with little ones stuck in the house on a day when the elements are not in your favor. Maybe you feel like you are not giving much to the Kingdom because your days are filled with mothering and there is nobody to help. Know this. You are right where you need to be. You are serving God through loving on your little ones and there is nobody who can do a better job at that then you. Even when it feels like there are others who are more qualified. Even when it feels like you aren't making a difference. Even when it seems like the whole world is on the move toward greatness and you are sitting on the floor stacking blocks. You. Are. Right. Where. You. Need. To. Be. So take a deep breath, smile at those little faces, and keep stacking blocks. Because you're not just building block towers, you're building up little hearts, one block at a time. What could be greater?

This week I am linking up with Messy Marriage and A Wise Woman Builds Her Home!


  1. Really well said Summer. I connected so strongly I had to respond. I too never saw myself as marriage or mother material. I was going to be married to my career. I was going to stop the "isms" of this world and end people's pain and suffering through education, practice, and research. But then I met a good person, and I suddenly realized that what I wanted the quote "mundane." More importantly, I realized that one person alone does not make changes, and while I may inspire my future students, clients, and colleagues to continue in good works, I also change the world by adding young people who are able to see the worlds ills, and heal bits of it themselves. It's a two fold approach really, and one that feels more rewarding then spending my dying breath fighting a battle I won't be able to win alone. As you said, this is not in bash of those who do not have this change of heart and continue the way I was. I support them and think they make just as much of an impact, but the impact mother make on the world is so generally forgotten, I just wanted to commend you for reminding us so eloquently. Nice work. :)

    1. Thanks Ashley, I was nervous to post this because I didn't want to be taken the wrong way. :) I'm glad I was "heard" correctly. Thanks for your response!

  2. Beautiful. I never dreamt of being a mom and never really played mommy. I always imagined missions over seas and joked about having 2 or 5 kids. Ha! We are well on our way with 4.


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