Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Just Us: Choose Kindness
Hey y'all, I am so sorry I flaked out this past week! My littlest has been avoiding sleep at all costs and so this mama has been EXHAUSTED. No energy to do much but trudge through my days and occasionally snap at my husband (not exactly the hope I had for this 28 Days of Loving thing, ha!). It is often those in whose love we feel most secure that we lash out at though, isn't it? Certainly in this case it was and my husband got the raw end of the deal with me this week, may he be blessed!
I have to share this though, the other day I was beyond tired. Like the kind of tired where you bawl your eyes out and throw clothes across the room in a mini-temper-tantrum because you can't find the baby's nose snuffer and HEAVEN HELP YOU YOU NEED THE STINKIN' NOSE SNUFFER!!! Ahem, not like that happened to me or anything...I am way too mature for that. (Not.) Anyway, that day I was not exactly the Proverbs 31 wife if you know what I mean. I was not opening my mouth with wisdom or teaching kindness with my tongue, and my husband was definitely most definitely not thinking of how praiseworthy I was making myself. Because I was just downright a jerk. And do you know what that man did to repay my attitude? Can you even guess how he may have responded to my snarky, nit-picky comments directed his way with no provocation? I will tell you what he did! The man bought me flowers! He bought me flowers to repay my meanness! Who does that?!? Well apparently he does, my friends. Or at least he did that day.
Knowing I was tired and emotional and feeling like I was at my wits end he chose kindness instead of retaliation. When the "proper" response would have been to bite back, he did the difficult thing and loved me in spite of my meanness. I don't say all this to make you wish you had that kind of marriage because we all have our ups and downs. We all have stories that make our marriages look perfect and stories that make our marriages look like they're on their last leg...that's just life. It's messy. I tell you this because we can choose to be the bringers of kindness in our marriages.
I have to be honest, if my husband had treated me the way I treated him I am pretty sure I would have lashed out. I would have taken the bait and ran with it (I mean who is he to talk to me like that?!). I don't even think the thought would have entered my mind to do something nice for him at a time like that. Yet, isn't that what people who choose kindness do? Don't they choose to do the kind thing despite what they feel like doing? So the next time your (or my) husband does something to get our hackles up and make us wonder how we ever fell for such a barbarian, what if we choose kindness? We need it, and I guarantee you our spouses need it too.