Sunday, February 22, 2015
Just Us: Covered with Grace
Okay, so I have kind of failed at keeping up with blogging this month. You know those months that just kind of keep giving you a left hook? Welcome to my February. I can't even say exactly what it has been...maybe a million little things. I had grand intentions to (one) blog every day and (two) post challenges for us to pursue in our marriages each week. I haven't even blogged every week, and I'm not sure if I've posted even two challenges all month! I have flat out bombed my hopes for this series!
All that (failure) got me thinking though, about how often we fall flat on our faces in our marriages. We have the best of intentions and then...well, life. I meant to keep my mouth shut but then things just started to come out. I meant to pursue my husband romantically this week but then I was just soooo tired. I meant to cook a hot meal this week but things got so busy. I meant to...and sometimes our well-meaning plans just don't quite make it to fruition. Now, I'm not saying we should make it a habit to not follow-through with our commitments--we absolutely should aspire to be men and women of our word--but there are times when we just fail.
I am not good at failing. In fact, I hate failing so much that for much of my life I wouldn't even try something that I didn't have a relatively strong belief I would succeed at. I missed out on untold opportunity because of this...and at times I catch myself living in this same mentality today. Early on in my marriage when I would fail at being the spouse I wanted to be, instead of getting up and dusting myself off I would turn tail and run. I would shut down, close my spouse out, and put up walls. I mean, I had failed. Wasn't that the only option? To quit? Thankfully, I have a spouse who lives by the words of Thomas Edison, "I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways [to make a lightbulb] will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work." He believes that any attempt at working on something is progress...even if it ends with us falling flat on our faces. I love this about my man! Especially because I am so not good at living it out...I have had to see it lived out through him thousands of times to begin instilling it as a habit in myself.
I guess what I'm saying is that in life, in our goals and dreams, in parenting our kids and in loving our spouses there will be times that we thoroughly botch things up. When we do we have a choice. We can either run away and distance ourselves hoping that putting up walls will solve our problems, or we can accept our failure as part of the path to perfection. There is grace in that. There is room to breathe. There is a sigh of relief that through each "proof" that a certain action or word did not build up...the next one can. Let us seek to be the spouse we want to be. Let us not give up pursuing the goal of being our best selves. And yet, let us also grab a hold of the grace to accept our shortcomings as avenues where untold growth and potential lay. Imagine the possibilities that may await our marriages and our lives if we do?